Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize