gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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