Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
