i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Bring me that man meat
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
