my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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