Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
