I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
