I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize