the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
