I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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