So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
soo... how was my night?
is it fun? or sober?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize