I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this boner is exhausting
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize