her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
