Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
