I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
