Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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