We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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