i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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