If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
