Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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