It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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