I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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