I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's get the cat blown out
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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