And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.