Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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