Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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  (940): Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next. http://tfl.nu/2m7k
  Replies (32) Good night (859) Bad night (4923)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.

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  (503): She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body. http://tfl.nu/sy4q
  Replies (22) Good night (8090) Bad night (726)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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  (574): almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea http://tfl.nu/8a1h
  Replies (1) Good night (1106) Bad night (3376)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.

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  (609): We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/d2sa
  Replies (5) Good night (3158) Bad night (838)
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  (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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  (831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1926) Bad night (1279)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2893) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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  (+49): we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?! http://tfl.nu/7d9u
  Replies (8) Good night (2489) Bad night (628)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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  (509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n
  Replies (5) Good night (1791) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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  (479): It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule. http://tfl.nu/n9xy
  Replies (5) Good night (566) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.

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  (717): I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass. http://tfl.nu/cjg7
  Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...

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  (856): his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits... http://tfl.nu/dl6r
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (560)
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  (619): View more from California

  I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.

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  (619): I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you. http://tfl.nu/28jb
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder

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  (678): Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder http://tfl.nu/6csr
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.

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  (443): There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol. http://tfl.nu/a441
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day

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  (860): I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day http://tfl.nu/l0rn
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (195)

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