i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I need to wash the frat house off of me