I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.