Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I want to stick my p in your. b.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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(404): View more from Georgia

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

(678): View more from Georgia

correction: escorted out

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.

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(614): View more from Ohio

This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone

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