What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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