I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
