I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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