I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize