Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
