Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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