Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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