no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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