He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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