The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
