help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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