You really coming over, don't trick.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
