I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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