So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
