4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
