shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
