We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
