Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
