Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize