Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
