He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
