what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
