um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
