ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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