All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish you could order shots online.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
