Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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