My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
