Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
