i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
