upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
