apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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