people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
