Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
