Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
