Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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