today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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