There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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